miss misery:
posted 2010-09-07 19:28:58
The black shaddows are catching up with me again. It seems although I can run from it, keep my head above water at work, sometimes there are tears that don't have a reason.
I got my plaster off last night. I have two arms again. Well, one good one and one that is kind of only half effective. My hand needs physio and is still a bit bruised and stiff. I should be extatic. I can't drive for two weeks still through, and still have to arrange my life around the schedules of about three other people to try to make things fit in with the least inconvenience. The whole hospital ordeal just made me feel sick though. Just being there, I get fairly panicy, and have a hard time containing my own thoughts to what is rational.
Found myself looking at much-too-small wedding/ formal dresses again yesterday. I don't feel I was able to do justice to my beloved on our wedding day, and would like someday to marry him over again and be the vision I should have been the first time. He's never complained once. It's just my own masochistic streak that tortures me about these things.
Glovesoff:
posted 2010-09-07 18:40:54
Two FuckTards at the new repair shop told me my vehicle needs new tires. "Sounds like a tire problem to me". This after stonewalling me when I asked to speak with a mechanic. Fucking asswipes. The tires are new. Many other things are new, this problem is serious and I am wondering if there are any experienced, good, intelligent mechanics still on this planet. If I were not already buried in bullshit I would speak to their boss and let it be known that they were rude and unbearable. But I will tell everyone I come across about it.
I Am Gahhhh:
posted 2010-09-07 16:49:35
This is the third time in the past several months that maintenance has informed me they will be in my apartment while I am gone to do plumbing repairs. Suspicious.
escapist:
posted 2010-09-07 16:32:01
Thinking too much.
Not knowing if this is really what I want.
I think I've been hurt too badly to ever feel the same for this man, ever again.
I was thinking time would help me love and trust him again....
It's been 3 weeks and I still fear when I get off work and go home he won't be there, or there'll be some note telling me he's leaving, or that when I work weekends he's off secretly meeting up with his ex wife.
It's gotten worse, rather than better.
I just don't know.
I need some new music in my life.
baskingiguana:
posted 2010-09-07 15:42:08
http://www.nytimes.com/2010/09/07/science/07archeo.html?_r=1&hp
for our archeologist friend.
Cage:
posted 2010-09-07 15:24:14
I have a laundry list of issues I need to deal with.
On the plus side my hair looks really, really good today.
I appreciate small things like that.
Peace.
maelstrom: Life
posted 2010-09-07 09:20:45
Is it my lot in life to be simply unhappy. I am not sure if i am doing it to myself, the situations and events in my life that are going it, or a combination of the two. I would go with the third option. I am back at my school and needless to say i am not all that excited about being here. I am just putting in the time, and trying to improve, but their is not much excitement in what i am doing.
I wanted to join the Air National Guard, but after looking at some of the ASVAB test questions i found, i am not sure i want to do that. I suck at math, and well lets face it i suck at standardized test. I worked hard to get where i am at now, but the thought of having to take more test to show me how stupid i am really blows ass. I guess my gf is right, i need to buy the ASVAB book for dummies and study. Am I nervous about going in to the air force national guard, yes, it all seemed so good when i first thought of it, not i am not so sure any more.
I told my gf about wanting to go in to the air guard, and she said, she would only except it, if we got married. I call this "the Edward condition" because it reminded me a lot of the condition Edward set for Bella in order for him to change her in to a vampire. (Yes i have read the books, and no i am not gay) I agreed, and said that if we do this i want kids, my kids, not adopted kids like she had hinted at, but real kids that i have a hand or penis in creating. She agreed. She also agreed to take my last name, which i was a little surprised at, but hell, strike while the iron is hot.
I guess i am going to go order ASVAB for dummies now.
condemned:
posted 2010-09-07 00:23:16
the past week has be awesome. nothing particularly super happened, its just nice being normal again. falling back into the way things were. i missed that.
EEG tomorow. hopefully get the results tomorow too.
PrettyGirl:
posted 2010-09-06 23:56:39
all my football games tonight lost. fuggers